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| THIS IS THE PAGE ABOUT ME DON`T BE CONFUSED IT IS CHAOTIC AS I AM BUT IT TELLS MY STORY SO WELCOME.... ME My life started at a snowy day at 12. 12. 1978 in Germany as the daughter of V. and L. Anavi.... My daddy was the greatest fairytale teller the world has seen and mom raised the most beautiful flowers of the planet: me and my elder brother C.Y. The days passed by and I started to love kittens, I run after cats, chased them whenever I was in Turkey, every street was inhabited by 20 kittens, but all run away from me to their magic worlds... "A kingdom for a kitten!" I aways said before sleeping but Leyla hanim always smiled ...a kitten would risk her flowers and so I grew with the tales of my daddy, the smile of mama , the protection of Cem but no kitten and the hurt remained inside...:( SCHOOL Basically dreaming my way successfully through school with the soft voice of English and Latin teachers, harsh words in history lessons, sadistic sports teachers, marihuana smoking classmates, grunge rock, heavy metal, rave and later soul, I suddenly found myself alone in the world without the wonderful protective group called friends. And suddenly I looked around and was n a cold white sterile room cutting into corpses. This was called medical studies and me always inbetween in life and left to choices in religion, world view, etc. was left alone with my conscience and the urge to succeed and beat this life and the corpse under my power.... THE NET... Everything started September 2001... Crashing planes into towers, final exams at university, cold dark weather, Kamuran urging me to come, the feeling to be alone and always busy, or book fanatic friends, who chose to escape this life with lines of fairy tales instead of with me... It threw me into the monsterous arms of the net... Network54 my first victim, encountering the dark side of human psychology and being exposed to all kinds of psychosises through Mari Aboush and her desert rat gang around A.R. Then the Greeks, a bleeding family history around Salonica date 1913...massacers, forced expelltion... LOSS... Facing Greek "brothers and sisters" with this history of theirs and usually denial, insults bla bla bla Plutonas I will never forget you "5000 Jews are 5000 too much in Greece!" Then Isaac a so called Jew who mixed up his own so called family history that his story was as reliable as Anderson fairy tales... Whatever it led me to my fave site:) JEWS-FOR-ALLAH The site I really loved, Nozrem, Nick, Fouad, my brother in Islam friendly Mohammed:).... Exchange, brain, intelligence, different oppinions declared in a civilised manner, Judaism and Islam in a double pack for ignorant me:) And first time ACCEPTANCE The most beautiful compliment in my life I got on the net: 14. 02. 2002 "People like you make me proud of Jewish nation"...This i will save my whole life:) My fave site and I loved it:( But it is down now.......:( |
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| No updates in my life Kamuran is gone, my heart hurts...I have still not a kitten But I have wonderful online friends, one Armenian in sunny California:), one in Yerevan, one in Finnland:) Oh and the prince of sadness sharabi:)... I have Fiona, Arda, Marie, I have Thomas, I have Martin, and even Jakob is mine... I have my memories I still have dreams.... I lost Kamuran but I am alive still... I have enemies but for them , a day more even upright is a day not lost in vain... |
THE PICTURE OF SADNESS `THE ONLY PICTURE ALL HUMAN BEINGS LOOK THE SAME... I CANNOT EXPLAIN moro romantico... Could you hear my voice , If I cried in my verses? Could you you touch my tears With your fingertips ? I did not know That the songs were so beautiful And the words so insufficient Before I fell into this pain. I know there is a place Where everything to say is possible; I feel I am very close But I can not explain... |
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what i like KAMURAN |
AT LEAST WE ARE LIVING FOR THE HOPE.... SIGN MY GUESTBOOK |
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